Demeter

Stuff from me

Posts tagged self esteem

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If you feel bad because you don’t look as good as people do in the movies or on TV

One of the many reasons to reconsider this is the fact essentially 0% of the human race is attractive enough to get a job in the movies or on TV.  The Screen Actors Guild-American Federation of Television and Radio Artists has, for example, 160,000 members - and before the merger, SAG (the one restricted to people who appear on camera) had about 102,000.  That’s it.  Out of the roughly 317,200,000 people living in the US.  Excel tells me that this technically comes out to 0.0504%.

What I’m saying here is that you could probably fit the number of people who look that good into any one of the half-dozen or so largest US football stadiums with room to spare.  Remembering that SAG membership requires you to have looked that good (and gotten just enough work) on three productions - lots of older, now very unattractive, people still have that card.

(Obviously, plenty of good-looking people aren’t on movies and TV, but that demographic was specifically what this post was dealing with.  Also, interestingly, lots of people who look good on TV do not look good in person - it turns out that a lot of the things that make you look awesome on TV make you look bizarre in real life.  Most typically attractive humans look awful on camera.)

Filed under beauty self esteem do not get me started on computer graphics imaging techniques

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You can be excellent in every way. You can be first class. There is no need for you to be a scrub. Respect yourself. Do not feel sorry for yourself. Do not dwell on unkind things others may say about you. Polish and refine whatever talents the Lord has given you. Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, but with great and strong purpose in your heart. Love life and look for its opportunities.

Gordon B. Hinckley

(via guardianofvirtue)

(via guardianofvirtue)

Filed under respect self esteem self care self respect advice lds latter-day saints tumblrstake mormon mormonism mormons

33 notes

Symptom management

For me, at least right in this moment, symptom management is all about:

  • Figuring out what my limitations really are (versus what I think they might be,)
  • Doing what I can do within those limitations, and
  • Not beating myself up for what I can’t do right now.

Therefore I choose to be really proud of the fact that all my luggage is out of the car and that I went and got food for dinner, and I will not focus on the trash that won’t get taken out today and the laundry that will have to wait till tomorrow.

I’m also going to give this month’s Relief Society book group meeting (this evening) a shot, even though I have not re-read the book in question (Dracula) and even though I will be bringing a fairly lame “spooky snack” to share (ants on a log.)

And yes, the Relief Society book of the month is Dracula.  I love my ward even though I’m too scared and insufficiently functional to go on Sundays.  So far anyway (working on it.)

Filed under symptoms symptom management mental illness bipolar discontinuation discontinuation syndrome coping self esteem depression recovery CBT mormon lds latter-day saints relief society mormonism

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Me and my Inner Critic, part four

Demeter:
I am miserable and cold and hot and bleh.
Critic:
You are such a baby about this kind of thing. Suck it up and deal.
Demeter:
That's not a very helpful thing to say to a person. It's really true that I'm uncomfortable right now, and it doesn't say anything about my character to admit it.
Critic:
Complaining solves nothing.
Demeter:
Maybe, but I don't think I'm going overboard here. I'm not gnashing my teeth and rending my garments, I'm just saying how I feel. And that's helping me to process it.
Critic:
"Process it?" You talk like you know all this psychiatric mumbo-jumbo but you're just freaked out and grasping at straws.
Demeter:
Well it's true that I'm off balance right now. But using words like that helps me to accept that the way I'm feeling doesn't have to say anything bad about me. And really there's only so much "dealing" that a person can be expected to do. I am glad that this time the effects don't seem to be quite as severe, though we'll see how long that lasts.
Critic:
You should feel bad about this, though! Look at you, lying around like an invalid when it's all in your head.
Demeter:
My head is as real a body part as any other. And I wouldn't tell a stranger who felt this way that they should "just deal." I'd offer them a blanket or ask if they had a favorite food I could get them or something. Misery doesn't have to be from a broken bone to be real - or to be treatable.
Critic:
There's no cure for being a lazy person.
Demeter:
That's why I've got the CBT thing going on. Just yesterday, when I was feeling better, I cleaned out my whole car! I'm doing laundry even though I want to find a safe warm spot and sleep and hide. I can do two things at once, and when I'm feeling better, I'll be able to do even more.
Critic:
There's no evidence at all that you're going to ever feel better.
Demeter:
There's lots of evidence to suggest it's possible, and no real evidence that proves it's impossible. And hope and trying is better than the bleak "we're all doomed, I'm a terrible person forever" path you seem to be so into me taking.
Critic:
You're still a wimp.
Demeter:
Have you noticed how much less productive these conversations are now that I've been to so much therapy? Yeah, me too. I think you need better evidence to prove that I'm a wimp before I start accepting it just like that. Talk to you later.

Filed under inner critic CBT depression self esteem therapy bipolar discontinuation discontinuation syndrome

2 notes

Verbalizing

Not as much as I’d have thought a few weeks ago.  We talk a lot about subconscious fears and what, exactly we’re struggling with in my group therapy sessions and some of the classes.  And, of course, a lot of this isn’t that subconscious for me.  I can almost hear these things in my head like a person is saying them, my self-esteem is so low.  So it’s not so hard to know what it’s saying, especially once I get going.

butimstillgonnashine replied to your chat: Me and my Inner Critic
THANK YOU SO MUCH. I will give this a try as soon as I get time. I still haven’t identified my critic. Anxiety + senior year = very hard to set time aside for anything. Was it hard to think this way, to actually verbalize your subconscious fears…?

Filed under self esteem inner critic therapy cbt