Demeter

Stuff from me

Posts tagged perfectionism

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I spotted an error I made just now

In one of my projects for the ward Christmas party.

However, it’s in a language that arguably no one in the congregation understands.  It’ll be dark.  I’m already supposed to be in bed right now.  And, I would have to go all the way back about fourteen steps to fix it, because the mistake is grammatical and I imported the mistaken grammar into Photoshop as a Smart Object rather than as a text box.

So.

I’m leaving it.

Fighting against OCPD, one step at a time.

Filed under OCPD perfectionism

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On Being Worthy

When we take it upon ourselves to pass self-judgment and simply declare, “I am not worthy,” we build a barrier to progress and erect blockades that prevent our moving forward. We are not being fair when we judge ourselves. A second and third opinion will always be helpful and proper.

It occurs to me that there are probably hundreds or even thousands who do not understand what worthiness is. Worthiness is a process, and perfection is an eternal trek. We can be worthy to enjoy certain privileges without being perfect.

Perhaps it is reasonable to conclude that personal measurement or judgment oftentimes may be severe and inaccurate. We may get bogged down as we try to understand and define worthiness. All of us are particularly aware of our shortcomings and weaknesses. Therefore, it is easy for us to feel that we are unworthy of blessings we desire and that we are not as worthy to hold an office or calling as someone next door.

When we dwell on our own weaknesses, it is easy to dwell on the feelings that we are unworthy. Somehow we need to bridge the gap between continually striving to improve and yet not feeling defeated when our actions aren’t perfect all the time. We need to remove unworthy from our vocabulary and replace it with hope and work. This we can do if we turn to quieter, deeper, surer guidelines—the words of our prophets and leaders, past and present.

Filed under mormon mormons mormonism lds latter-day saints tumblrstake worthiness guilt shame perfectionism hope

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OCPD?

So in the mindfulness session on Friday, we talked a little bit about getting caught up in needing to control things, needing things to be perfect, etc.  I mentioned that my psychiatrist (actually Dr. C, who was filling in for Dr. E in April) said my ADHD was masked, when dealing with health professionals, by my “obsessive tendencies.” She was trying to explain why I was getting diagnosed at age 30, and also trying to deal with the 15 pages of documentation, including photos of my house and a comprehensive timeline of symptoms displayed since birth, and fourteen years’ of blood tests, which I brought in for her convenience.

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Filed under ocpd ocd personality disorder mental illness getting diagnosed obsessive tendencies control anxiety perfectionism rigidity